Phew, what a relief

Missing bike found. Not just any old bike, but a bike which had travelled 335,500 miles in over forty years, which was stolen just after its owner reached these shores. The UK may have loutish bike thieves. We can all attest to that. We encounter them all the time, including in the supposedly secure garage under our building where they sawed through one bike with a hacksaw to get at another one recently, but at least they have 'taste'. This bike was abandoned in a local park; being old fashioned, it wouldn't have had much value in the local pub and so wouldn't have added to the £1bn that criminals have apparently made selling stolen goods in pubs to people who just turn a blind eye to the origins of what they buy. Presumably between supping pints and adding their voice to the urgent need to deport all 'foreign' criminals.