The Queue Jumper

This person is mainly to be found in the supermarket, but can equally be found wherever there is a queue. The queue jumper is invariably an elderly lady belonging to the tweeds, twin-set and pearls, jolly hockey-sticks brigade who thinks that age brings certain privileges with it. Although, to be fair, I have come across young - male and female - queue jumpers, but in far lesser numbers than the former species. Most of these elderly ladies, despite being obviously well educated, become quite rude in the scrabble to get to the head of the queue, I sometimes wonder if even a bare-knuckle boxer would stand a chance against them, as they are a ferocious breed.

Most people are under the misapprehension that the average supermarket trolley has a mind of its own; this is not true. The average supermarket trolley which gives one such a clout on the ankle is usually being driven by one of these demons - showing the same skills as the impatient driver - in search of the latest bargain, and hell bent on getting out of the supermarket before anyone else. This breed does not care if it leaves one lying in a pool of blood just as long as it gets to the head of the queue. The most annoying thing about this person is that once they get to the head of the queue they suddenly lose all of the sense of urgency which was previously being displayed. These tyrants keep one waiting whilst fumbling about, in capacious purses, looking for odd bits of loose change to pay for their purchase; and then, having paid for their purchase, proceed to pull out a wad of money off coupons about which they are not sure if they are still valid.