Plumbers, they're all the same

Here at BondBloke we have been pleased about the arrival of the sizeable Polish contingent in Edinburgh. It makes our friend Madry feel less lonely. It should, in principle, improve the service provided by plumbers. Except, it would seem, they quickly fall into the same old habits as British plumbers. Lukos the Handyman first came round to our flat when I called a firm, which has since folded, which supplied people to fix very simple straightforward jobs really quickly. It wasn't cheap. But my, was it quick. He was round at our flat tightening our plumbing under the kitchen sink within twenty minutes of me speaking to some Australian bloke on the phone...

Anyway, he left his phone number, saying he would be cheaper than the people who employed him...

Nuff said. Over the summer, we needed some work doing on Junior Bond's flat, so we called Lukos. Reasonably satisfactory job done.

And now, we have defective toilets (ball valve it would appear), beyond BB's plumbing skills, anyway, and a party tomorrow evening. Oh dear. I call Lukos. He says he's now very busy, he'll call back on Tuesday. He didn't. Because, on Tuesday, I thought BB would be able to fix the problem, I didn't bother chasing him. On Wednesday I was in London, and BB was...well I'm not quite sure where he was. Peebles and out and about, he said. Anyway, Thursday lunchtime and he's trying to fix the plumbing. Doesn't work. Call an emergency plumber, he says. Yeah, funny, I said. I'll try Lukos again. I did. Lukos says - oh dear, I forgot. At least we still have honesty. British plumber would have said "I said I would call back on Tuesday. I didn't say which Tuesday..." Lukos says he will come tonight at 5.30pm. I rush around at work, cutting things short and am cycling down Leith Walk at 5.25pm, braving the rush hour traffic which makes for a much more unpleasant journey home than an hour later. Phone goes. Lukos: am stuck in Musselburgh. Can I come tomorrow just after 9am? Well, there's not much I can say, except yes.

So...will we have properly functioning toilets tomorrow evening? Who knows? But one thing I am sure of. There is some sort of norm to which all plumbers, whatever their nationality (we used have a South African plumber when we were in rented accommodation in South Edinburgh and he was just the same...) will revert in time.